How to Surprise a Very Suspicious, Intuitive Person: The story of my 22nd birthday
This is my fiancé's favorite story to tell anytime anyone brings up surprises: I ruined our one year anniversary with my nosiness. I'm not the type of person who you get away with surprising. I was a spy in another life and love to snoop. Furthermore, surprises mean I am not in control, and I am a self-confessed control freak. So, when Ryan made the mistake of telling me he was planning a big surprise for our anniversary last year, what did I do? I couldn't be patient and not know what to expect, so I looked at his phone and ruined the whole surprise. (Sorry, babe) In my defense, I did feel really bad about it and told him immediately afterwards.
Fast forward to the last week in September. Mary, one of my best friends of over eight years (what?!), had already planned on coming to Minnesota to spend my birthday weekend with me. What I did not know was that she, Ryan, my brother, and one of my other best friends were planning an elaborate surprise visit. It seems that I'm not the only spy in the group.
So, for any of you who can't seem to pull off a surprise for your intuitive friend or partner, here is a step-by-step guide to the art of espionage.
Step 1: Ask for their address (even though you don't need it).
The first thing that threw me off the scent was Mary asking me for my address and where to park. This is a tiny detail, but it can make big difference in this scenario. If she hadn't asked me, I definitely would have assumed that someone who had been to my apartment before (a.k.a. Ryan or Alan) was coming up with her.
Step 2: Make up an activity to take place the day of the surprise.
A couple days before that Friday, when Mary was coming, Ryan told me he had picked up an extra shift at work. This is a normal thing for him to do and combined with the "proof" that he was at work, as explained later, really cemented the idea that he wouldn't be there.
This also played into my friend Caroline surprising me. When she didn't show up with Mary, Alan, and Ryan (I'll elaborate in a minute), I asked Ryan why she hadn't come. He told me that her brother had a senior night that she couldn't miss, which sounded like a legitimate conflict that ended up being partly true, making it even more believable!
Step 3: Don't text or snap them until "after" the time you would have already started driving.
This is the number one thing that threw me for a loop. Mary told me her arrival time should be around 6:30 pm, which meant she left Lexington around 7:30 am. Ryan always texts or sends me a snap when he wakes up, so when he snapped me around 10 am my time, still looking as if he was in bed, all of my secret hopes that he was coming up were extinguished. Which leads me to the next step...
Step 4: Use Snapchat's cut and paste feature to doctor your photos.
This was the most impressive and convincing form of espionage I have ever experienced in my civilian life. (All of the effort put into this should show you how very, very difficult it is to surprise me.) Ryan actually took the time to take photos on Snapchat in the days before he left and use the cut feature to save the images to the emoji folder. This allows you to take the images and paste them into your normal snaps. Ryan took advantage of this by taking various pictures of himself waking up, going to work in uniform, and sitting on the couch in his apartment. He changed clothes and made sure to have a variety of poses ready. The end result? I was 100% convinced Ryan woke up late, went to see a movie, then went to work that day.
Step 5: Enjoy the shock when you show up.
I cannot describe what was happening in my brain when Ryan walked through that door. Everything I thought I knew was blown apart, and my jaw was literally hanging open. My fiancé is an actual spy, everyone. (Also, props to Mary for snapping me while he was driving and having to combine multiple photos to get a convincing angle and for not letting anything about the surprise slip earlier.)
Also (see below): don't you think they're the most photogenic people you've ever seen?
Step 6: Stagger arrival times.
When Caroline didn't show up with Mary, Alan, and Ryan, I was positive she wasn't coming. After all, a 12-hour drive from Kentucky is not something you attempt by yourself if you don't have to (I would know). On a trip like that, you do not expect multiple cars or separate transportation of any kind being involved. She texted me the next morning to tell me happy birthday, and I was none the wiser that she was on a plane to Minneapolis. (Also, shout out to my friend Brooke, who unfortunately couldn't come, for not giving it away that Caroline was coming when I told her she and Caroline could come up together at some point.)
Step 7: Make up a logical reason for being in a certain place at a certain time.
This is where Mary and Ryan's plan almost got derailed. My plan for the weekend was to go hiking on my birthday when it would be nicer weather, then go to the Mall of America on Sunday because it was supposed to rain. Unbeknownst to me, Caroline was meeting us at the MoA on Saturday after her flight landed, so we needed to be there on Saturday. Luckily, I generally assume that weird things Mary and Ryan do aren't that weird anymore, so when they were really intense about wanting to see the MoA first thing, I didn't question it. After all, it's a pretty cool place, right?
So on Saturday, we found ourselves in a very crowded MoA (I forgot that the Cake Boss star was opening a Carlos' Bakery in the MoA that day). Mary was texting a little more than usual, but I didn't question it. I mean, what else could happen when I was 12-hours away from home and all of my friends and family?
Step 8: Enjoy the even bigger shock when another surprise happens.
After the surprise of Ryan and Alan showing up, I didn't expect anything else. I was 100% not prepared for any more shocks that weekend.
But then we were standing in the sale room at Anthropologie, looking at candles and flowery jeans, and I turned around to get the biggest shock of the weekend: Caroline, who I'd thought was definitely not coming and was currently 12 hours away to be at her brother's senior night, was standing in the doorway. There was high-pitched questioning of the reality of life and in-shock hugging. I think if someone else from home had shown up after that point, my brain would have shut down.
All in all, I had a fantastic birthday weekend with a lot of the people I love most in the world, and I cannot believe they pulled off the elaborate surprises that they did. Here's to year 22 and all the surprises it still has in store.