Cautionary Tales from a Psycho-Boss Survivor

I've been working in the retail and/or service industry for the past four years while I've been in college, first at a movie theater, then at an independent bookstore. I've had many, many wonderful managers, some of whom I would still call friends; however, there is something about these industries that attracts crazy. In honor of putting in my two weeks' notice at the retail job I've had for the past two years, here are some signs for recognizing a toxic employee-manager relationship.

1. Instead of asking you to go home early because it's a slow day, they just walk up to you, wave their hand, and say, "Buh-bye."

Genuinely, I had an interim general manager who would do this every time she wanted you to leave. No explanation. You'd be in the middle of a conversation with a co-worker, and she would walk up to you, give the wave, and say bye in the most condescending way possible, then stare at you until you walked away. 

2. When there are two people in line, they flip out and yell at you to get on backup register. 

I had another interim GM who would call over the walkie for me to jump on register every single time more than one person was in my coworker's line. At least 85% of the time, by the time I made it back to the box office, my coworker had already helped both people.

 © Justin Smith / Wikimedia Commons, CC-By-SA-3.0

3. Instead of asking you to remove your hands from your pockets, they sneer and ask, "Are you hand-selling your pockets today?"

I'm the type of person who never knows what to do with my hands, so the natural position I gravitate towards if I'm not thinking about it is standing with my hands in my pockets. I'm aware that this doesn't look very professional, but sometimes I do it out of habit. This particular manager decided to address this problem in the most condescending way possible and earned herself no respect from me for doing it. 

4. They never give you the days you request off, then cut your hours the next week out of vengeance. 

I started noticing a pattern in my schedule. I would request off, let's say, a Saturday. I wouldn't get that Saturday off and would change my plans to accommodate this, saying nothing to management. The next Saturday, my hours would inexplicably be cut. The next week, my schedule would return to normal. Eventually, after this occurred a couple of times, I confronted my manager about it. 

Me: "Excuse me, _________, I was wondering if there's a reason I'm not working Saturday this week. I normally work every Saturday."

Manager: "Payroll. I must've not had enough hours to go around this week." *Poignant pause* "But you know, you did request off last Saturday, so. . ."

5. They hover behind you like a shadow, watching your every movement.

At the movie theater where I worked, our indoor box office was minuscule. Literally two office chairs fit in there comfortably, and that was it. So it was painfully obvious when the manager decided he needed to keep tabs on us (for what reason, I'll never know). He would stand just over your shoulder, and every time you made a "mistake" (not offering a membership, for instance), he would announce your wrongdoing right afterwards. He even went so far as to shove a promotional toy we were selling into my leg during every transaction to remind me to offer it to each guest. 

6. It feels like you're in an autocratic dystopian society whenever they're around.

Fear spikes the air when she enters the building. Conversations hush, gazes avert, hands are clasped behind our backs. We don't know who is safe to talk to about her. Her spies are everywhere. When one person stands up to her, even in the tiniest way, we worry that he won't be there tomorrow. 

7. They laugh at the idea of children in wheelchairs. 

Once, we were selling a toy at the box office, and all of the money went to a charity for disabled children. Our interim GM asked us if we knew what the charity was, we said yes, then he responded to his own question by laughing and saying, "Kids. In wheelchairs." Giggling through every word. 

You can't make this stuff up.

Photo credit: ReneS via Foter.com / CC BY

8. They use their own dysfunction as an excuse to make your life miserable. 

This past Christmas, I requested off the week after Christmas to travel out of state to see my dad and his family. Of course, I wasn't given the time off, then when I confronted the manager about it, she responded, "I assumed no one would want time off, so I didn't even look at the request offs this month." That's a sane response, right? But wait—there's more!

I then explained my situation to her, how this was my one opportunity to spend time with my dad and half siblings over Christmas and pretty much the only substantial time to see them all year. Her response was then to try to pressure me into reconsidering the days off by saying, "I haven't seen my father in five years, so I think you would be okay."

9. They come into work looking like they've just spent the night in a Motel 6 with questionable company.

This interim GM at the movie theater used to come into work every day with his shirt wrinkled beyond belief, untucked, pants hanging low enough that it made me happy his shirt was untucked, his tie undone and hanging at an awkward angle. One day, I genuinely think he had just gotten off an all-night solo bender in his hotel room because he could barely open his eyes and shut himself in the dark count room the whole morning. 

10. They don't understand that they're on the outside of the "family."

I had an interim GM who was a very poorly designed robot attempting to fit in as a human (hint: he's the one who laughed at disabled children). Everyone hated him, and he seemed to hate all of us. However, after a brief return to his home theater, he came back when we needed another fill-in manager. On his last day with us, I asked him if he was excited to go back home, and he said, "Not really. I requested to come back to your theater. There's nothing like the family you all have here." 

The craziest thing of all is that if he had just been a kind, respectful manager and human being, he could have actually been a part of that family.  

The same goes for every other crazy manager I've had. In the world of retail or service, fear is not king. Power doesn't earn you respect. The best managers I've had made me happy to come to work, proud of the company, and improved my ability to do my job instead of tearing me down or hindering me. 

Have you had a crazy boss? Tell me about it in the comments below!