I haven’t introduced her on the blog yet, so if you didn’t know, Ryan and I adopted a kitten this past September (it’s a long story, but I’m horribly, horribly allergic to cats, and we met her as a week-old-kitten while touring our wedding venue. I wasn’t allergic to her mom, so we took a chance and magically, I’m not uncontrollably allergic to her either). Her name is Bisous (French for kisses), and I find her to be a conundrum. Ryan has owned cats throughout his childhood, and though I’ve owned a bunny, a turtle, several fish, and seven dogs over my lifetime, I’ve never had a cat before Bisous. So here’s a list of questions, concerns, and downright oddities that I, as a dogs-are-the-best-pets person, can’t seem to understand about owning a cat.

1. Why have I been told cats only purr when they’re happy my entire life, only to discover that Bisous also purrs when she’s scared?

   It feels unfair that I spent the first six months of having Bisous thinking she was in love with me because she always purred when I picked her up, only for Ryan to inform me that cats also purr when they’re anxious. So all of my good memories with her have been tainted, and how am I supposed to know if she actually loves me or not anytime I pick her up in the future?

2. Why don’t cats listen to commands?

   This has been the hardest adjustment of all to having a cat. If I tell my dogs ‘no’ when they try to eat food off my plate, they stop. If I tell Bisous ‘no,’ she doesn’t even react. Can dogs understand human voices and cats can’t, or are cats just so superior to humans that they won’t submit to simple commands? I just want to be able to leave my cup of water on the table for two seconds and not worry about Bisous sticking her whole head inside it.

3. Why do cats not like to cuddle all the time?

   When we first picked up Bisous as a kitten, all she did that first day was sleep on my lap. But now, she won’t cuddle with me unless I go find her when she’s already half-asleep and force her to cuddle. I don’t understand the point of having a pet you can’t cuddle with. I’ve never met a dog who doesn’t act excited to snuggle up next to you to sleep—if not constantly, then often. Even my grumpy 16-year-old Chihuahua is cuddled against me as I write this. How am I supposed to pet Bisous when she spends 99% of her time running along the tops of the couches and jumping on the windowsill? I’ll stick with floofy Luna and Argos cuddles, thanks.

4. Why is 50% of Bisous’ “playing” with a toy just acting disinterested in it?

   The cycle goes as follows: Bisous acts like she wants to play. I pick up one of her wands and she bats at it. She then walks away. I dangle it in front of her, toss it in the air, drag it along the ground. She doesn’t react. Then, as soon as I abandon it, she sits there staring at it while pathetically meowing. Why? Doesn’t she understand that I am not there to play alone with her toys while she watches in amusement?

5. What’s with the whole ‘knocking things off tables’ schtick? What evolutionary trait does this fulfill?

   I just don’t understand how cat people don’t see this as blatantly malicious behavior? I know cats are curious, but is their end-goal to understand how high different objects need to be to break upon impact? Bisous knocks her own laser pointer toy off the table, cups, picture frames—I’ll need to start brainstorming how to protect my succulents once they’re all under the same roof.

As much as I don’t understand her, I still love Bisous, especially when she gets over herself and sleeps on my chest. One day I’ll crack this little fluffy enigma. One day.